So my friend Mark knows me pretty well. Before nominating me for some kind of blogging award, he had to call and ask permission. He knows how private I am. And he's so sweet. No, really! I was flattered, so why the heck not. The only caveat that he told me about was the one where you pay the award forward and nominate other bloggers. Like I said, Mark knows I'm private, and even admitting to people the blogs I read is hard. If I'd known I was going to have to bare my soul too? I'm not sure I would have ever agreed. Clearly he tricked me. But I'm a rule follower, so here goes. Read carefully. It won't happen again. (And, uh, thanks Mark. No, really!)
1. If I mentioned above that I'm a rule follower, can that count as #1? No? Okay. If I mentioned in an earlier blog post that I love football can that count? No? Okay. Fine. Let me start again.
1. I have mentioned before that I spend a lot of time, too much really, inside my head. What I didn't mention is that there's mostly teen angst going on in there. I am constantly worrying about things like, "I wish I'd never sent that e-mail." or "He didn't seem as warm to me as usual. I must have said something to upset him." or "Is she mad at me?" or "Why hasn't she texted me yet?" So when people tell me they think I'm confident, I want to say Ha! If you could see inside my brain, it's like the set of Sixteen Candles going on in there.
2. There is a part of me (sometimes a big part, sometimes a small part) that wishes we'd had another baby. Can't wait for the comments to start on that. (I'm looking at you Marky.)
3. I have found that as I get older, there are things that I used to really dislike that I now really like. Patent leather for example.
4. I have in me a deep, deep desire to write a book. There are two finished and one unfinished manuscripts buried deep in my filing cabinets (and no more shall be said about that), but I really yearn to write more. Fiction, creative nonfiction, I don't know. The dream is there, but I fear that the drive and/or the discipline is not.
5. I don't sleep. I have had trouble with sleep for most of my adult life, and my recent bout with headaches (accidentally typed "hurricanes," how ironic is that?!) has made sleep particularly difficult. I sleep with a book and a my phone, used as a flashlight, next to me. We call my sleep "fragile." When reading, I can get incredibly sleepy, but if it takes too much effort to turn off the light or adjust my pillow, I'm awake again. At one point in the middle of the night a few weeks ago, the image of my sleep being fragile like an egg came to me. Later that same long night, I had the thought that sleep for me is an egg balanced on a bread knife. If I ever write that book, you will read that metaphor there.
6. I love weather. All kinds, but especially hurricanes. I'll admit it, it was a special thrill to move to a hurricane-y part of the world, and terribly exciting to experience one as soon as we got here! Ever since Hurricane Hugo ravaged the area where my family had traveled for so many summer vacations, I have followed the seasons and their formations. As I mentioned before, Callum's getting into it a little now too. It's not just hurricanes. Thunderstorms, record heat, record cold, snow, rain, mist, drizzle, mizzle, you name it...I love it. The problem with weather is that it will always let you down. You watch the storm of the century coming towards you that dumps 8 inches of snow (this is Tidewater, Virginia people, what do you expect?), and you're wishing, why wasn't it ten? You live through a winter of 80 inches of snow (not in Tidewater, Virginia), and you think, "Oh just one more snowfall." Callum is learning this as we speak. I'm sure that no matter how much rain Nearly-Tropical-Storm-Nicole (the system I can't quite understand) dumps on us, he'll want a few more inches and a few more gusts of wind. Heck, I will too.
7. I am in search of a thread. I'm re-reading a book by Orangette author (Do you re-read books? I do, it's a particular pleasure of mine...look at me letting the intimate details all hang out!) Molly Wizenberg, and she talks about how cooking is a thread in her life. And hey! She even wrote a book about it. I am in search of a thread. Sure I like to cook. I've been cooking for a long time. Sure I like to write. I've been writing for a long time. Sure I like to take photographs. I first got interested in photography a looooooong time ago (and queen of dropped thread that I am, left it alone a looooong time ago too). But what's my thread? That's definitely something I'd like to know.
And now that I've gotten started I guess there's a lot more that I could say. I like hot sandwiches but not cold ones. I need my windshields to be very, very clear when I'm driving, or even riding in rhe rain. I like a light to be on in the house when I come home after dark... Funny how that works. Revealing things. In honor of Mark, who I would nominate right back if I could, I'll put the link to the blog back on my facebook profile page. So all 40 of my friends can come check it out. Every new year I resolve to be more brave, so there you go. Now my old high school boyfriend can come see what this is all about, should he so desire (doubtful).
I really do appreicate you thinking of me Marky. And you dear readers, all 12 of you should go and check out his blog. You'll learn a lot more about him than you ever would about me! He and I have been friends since we were baby-adults (newly hatched grown-ups), and he is still one of the best, funniest people I ever met. And I still think that after discovering that half of his facial expressions come from Homer Simpson. Seriously, that man tells the best stories. Way better than mine. If he wrote a book, I'd read it, and I'd try very hard not to be jealous.
And as far as the nominating goes? I have to pick my friend Megan. That's MEE-gan. At Megan's Blog. That's MEE-gan's Blog. Not only a versital blogger, she's one of the most versitle people I know. A little funny too. And she's a great writer. Brilliant posts. I'm hoping this award will encourage her to write more of them.