My work is in a funny place right now. Sort of a "the more things change, the more they stay the same" kind of place. We have a new headmaster at our school, and that means all sorts of sweeping changes in all sorts of ways. He'll come in, as he should, and change things. Already we see evidence of that, from a new desk in the office to new events on the calendar. A new head of school means a new boss for me. And so I'm in a weird sort of place, where everything I'm doing is almost exactly the same as I did last year at this time, almost exactly the same as I always do, but it's not. It's different.
I'm very lucky in my work, as I continually seem to be reminding Callum, that the projects I have over the summer I am able to do largely from home. My laptop and I hang out together for a few hours every morning, and we're still able to go to the beach or Callum is still free to play with his friends. Each week we go into school, and while Callum has karate, I've been meeting with my new boss. And it's been good. I like this guy. So far we seem to be working well together. But as I was chatting with a neighbor last week, I finally put my finger on just the sense I've had about these weekly meetings. You know how it is when you meet a new person, say a new girlfriend or you and your partner meet another couple and you decide to get together for coffee or go out to dinner, and you have that "first date?" That first time you get together where you're glad to be together and it's fun to be together and get to know each other, but still, just a little, it's taking a bit of work? Well that's how it feels each week in these meetings with my new boss. Every Wednesday from 10-11 a.m. is like another first date. I think if I were there all week, working in the office every day we'd be past that, but we're not. So our sentences stumble over each other and our conversations can veer from halting to rapid-fire in practically a breath. I love my job, and I don't want to look like an idiot, but it's been a long time since I've come home wondering how things were going and if it were okay to tell someone when I disagree about something. I'm sure that equilibrium will come, but it's early days yet. And early days can be daunting.
My old boss? I could pretty much predict his reaction to any given situation. And I was never afraid to disagree with him. Megan, I'm assuming you'll have something to say about that.
So while all the things I'm doing are pretty much the same, everything feels like it's changed. I'm changing too. Thinking about doing different kinds of things. Trying to extrapolate my favorite parts of my job and create some reason out of them. I have a friend who is a freelance editor (Hi Cookie!), and we've been chatting about work quite a bit lately. She feels that I'm a writer with editorial tendencies (is that the way you put it?), all the while I find myself yearning for the structure and order of editing, not the wild storm of chaos that writing seems to be. (We're both yearning a bit for those things that are other than what we are doing at present.) It has been a big part of my job, editing and helping to frame the message of our school. I can't tell if it's going to stay or go away. And maybe, if I like it so much, it's time to think about it more, doing it more than just for my school. I've been thinking about that a lot too. Branching out. Trying to learn some more. Go legit. What was #9 again?
This whole late of summer feels like a giant step into the unknown. Must be why I so desparetly wanted some new shoes.