weekend lookback, august 11

Row 1: morning sunlight | paddleboarding | beach time; Row 2: Morning in Neel's garden | tomato pie

Well, the August migraines have begun, it seems. Who's tired of my bitching? (Waves hand madly.) I'd had a nice reprieve in July, but they're back in full force, and I'm reminded of how much I hate this time of year. Neel's work has turned up to a fever pitch (medical school classes start today), and he worked all weekend. As we look down the road, he has meetings and conferences that will cause him to miss back-to-school night and make our turn-around to get to Erin's wedding tight.

The thing I have most to look forward to in the coming weeks is Cal's birthday (15-- yipes!), but the moms among us will know that along with the joy there's all the stuff too. All the getting ready and the doing of things and managing of things.

So right now I'm grateful a quiet house (Cal's at a sleepover and our dogs are SO lazy). For the last two weeks of summer vacation. For #perception_collection which is gathering together so many wonderful photos and photographers, old and new. For another photography project I've become involved in (No Flowers, No Kids for the month of August) with a great group of women -- it's slowly pulling me out of my funk, in little fits and spurts. For a great visit we just had with my mom. For the feeling of finally clearing out some of the clutter that's been weighing us down. (Of course our whole utility room's worth of clutter is currently sitting in my living room, but whatever.)

I've been doing a lot of soul searching about my place in this online world and my feelings about this space. Annie calls it a Life Wobble, and I love that phrase so much that I'm totally stealing it. Truth is, I never blogged for page views and the word branding makes me shudder. And yet, I love this space and the (tiny) community that comes with it. I'm having a hard time making decisions right now; just trying to one-day-at-a-time-it. But, I'm sticking. Sticking around and taking pictures and cooking food and writing about my life. In the long term at least.

In the short term? The beach is calling, and my kid has two weeks of summer vacation left. I might not be around as much as I tend to the home fires. Thank you guys. Thank you, thank you. For always checking in. For worrying about my headache and for always reading and wondering what's going on in this little head of mine. XO

check up

Well, the honest truth is that I haven't been feeling well lately. I never got my groove back after our trip, and to be completely truthful, this started before we even left. It's the migraines, of course, which have reared their ugly heads. I cycle in and out of that, and if you've known me for any length of time, you know summers can be hard on this head of mine. But there's more this time. Fatigue that's hard to shake. Crazy fatigue. Hard to get out the door fatigue. Hard to do much more than one thing a day fatigue. Some days I pick laundry. One load. Some days I pick the grocery store. Some days I pick nothing. Those aren't great days. Add to that some an unusual pain in my hip and some muscle fatigue (gah, more fatigue). I feel like every day I'm navigating a pain and lethargy cycle. It's annoying and confusing and things feel like they're falling apart a little bit around here.

I told the doctor that I'v diagnosed myself with Chronic Irritability Syndrome. He's on it. Five vials of blood, and we'll get to the bottom of it, I'm sure. Actually, I can tell you just what the blood work will reveal: nothing. I'm actually quite healthy! I'll just start feeling better. Until then? Chronic Irritability Syndrome.

And yet everywhere I look around me, there's abundance. My family? Well, they take care of me every day. No complaints. Just concern. Our neighbor Autumn brought us squash and cucumber and Swiss chard from her garden. And from his garden, our contractor John brought us a zucchini the size of a newborn baby. It's my dad's birthday (Happy, happy day, Alfie!) My friend Jackie had a thrilling project come up this session, and she asked me to teach her class on Intro to Digital Photography. It's her favorite class to teach, and it's the first class I took. As you can imagine, I'm excited. But I'm touched and honored too. Beyond it really.

So when I take the long view, things are good. There's abundance all around me. All that other stuff will take care of itself. Patience, grasshopper. The only way out is through.

Pan Fried Zucchini, thanks to John, our contractor

1 zucchini
2 eggs beaten
1 package seasoned fish fry breading, like Hilltop or McCormick's or make your own.
Salt and Pepper
Oil for frying

Slice the zucchini into rounds (or if it's ginormous, half-rounds). Dredge each slice in the egg wash and then the batter and set on a platter, careful not to stack the slices.

Once you've dredged all the zucchini, pour enough oil into the bottom of a fry pan to coat the bottom, and heat on medium high.

Once the oil is sizzling, add the slices of zucchini, careful not to crowd them. You'll probably have to do this in batches.

When the zucchini is brown on one side flip each slice and brown the other side. (The zucchini should be easy to lift from the pan when it's time to flip.) Repeat with the remaining zucchini, draining on paper towels.

Serve with salt and pepper (and hot sauce if your name is Cal.).