it's all good, the "it's all about me" version

IMG_4614 I'm having lunch with a girlfriend of mine today who freely admits that when it comes to talking about what's going on with our kids, well, it's all about us. Since Callum started Kindergarten, I have worked at his school, so this year has been a considerable switch for both of us. I still work at his old school, in more of a freelance-consulting type of role, and so far that seems to have worked out quite well. I'm glad. Glad to still be there and part of things. I care for it quite deeply, and I care very much for so many of the people there. So while I'm still working for them, it's primarily from home now, and I go to campus about once a week or so for some meetings and to touch base. Other than that, I'm moving into more freelance writing projects, and my hope is to keep this moving along into a heavy part-time workload. It's a dream come true, really. Now for that $60,000 a year. Bwa-ha-ha!!

I like working at home. A lot. But it took some adjusting. In the first days I was reminded a bit of my early weeks at home by myself after Callum started preschool. I'd take a pile of books and move them from one table to another because I simply didn't know what to do with myself.

And as you can see, the Blue Rain Room looks quite different. When school started, I was juggling three big projects so I shoved things around and threw my laptop up there and started working away. I'm still juggling projects, and the disorder is starting to wear on me. I'd like to take some time to have a cup full of newly sharpened pencils and a stack of unopened postit notes. While it's hard for me to maintain, I crave order, and the weight of unpacked boxes from my old office is pressing down on me like a cement block. Unfortunately when I do have the time, I do something else with it instead. But that is a story for another day.

So, the Blue Rain Room is no longer a craft room, and I'm mostly okay with that. I think I'm an indifferent crafter at best. Maybe indifferent is the wrong word. I'm just not very good at it. If you look closely at the photo above, you can see the bottoms of some cones of yarn...I am still knitting. But I am not like these other wonderful ladies. Amanda, Blair, Alicia. I'm just not, and that's okay. I want to work on my house; I want to take care of my family; I want to take photos and I want to write. Right now I'm learning how to juggle all of that. (If I could just get things cleaned up in there!)

And I'm learning how to juggle all that and juggle working for new people and in new places with little dogs resting their heads at my feet (and barking their dang fool heads off at every leaf drop outside). I'm learning how to juggle when to shower and when to exercise and when to leave to pick up Callum on normal and early dismissal days. I'm learning how to juggle the homework train and the dinner train and the after school activity train. The rain was good for me, and it's cooler now. Fall is good for me too.

Where did I read it, that 80% of what we worry about never comes true? The thing I grieved the most last year as we said good-bye to Callum's old school was saying good-bye to our proximity to each other. Like I said before, since he first really started his schooling we were in the same place. We did a good job, I think, balancing it. I tried very hard to walk the tightrope of physically being there, but not being there too much. A kid needs his own space. But it was such a joy for me to look out my window and see him playing, full stop at recess or in the gym in PE. When I'd pass him in the hall and he'd barely say, "Hi Momma," I knew we were getting it right." There were some tears from both of us when we thought about those moments going away. But you know what? It's all good. We made this decision partly knowing it was time to move on. Time for Callum to really have his own space. And now, for me the joy comes in hearing him tell the story of his day, not just in witnessing it.

It's all good.