My pistons are still firing on "random" so bear with me if you will. We had dinner with our neigbor Jean and her two kids last night. Her husband's been out of town, so it seemed like a little company and distraction would improve everybody's mood. It's an easy thing to do, order a pizza and hang out while the kids play. Despite the difference in their ages, Jean's son Zach (who's not yet three) and Callum are quite close. They are always asking to play together and coming up with crazy chase and crash games that prove to be clearly ageless.
I often think that Callum is helping Zach learn about being a boy, a big kid, and that Zach is helping Callum learn about patience and love. Sometimes it's hard to take when your much younger bud keeps running through your barely-dry masterpiece or tries to paint right where you are painting.
We took a leap of love yesterday and put in an application on a dog at the local SPCA. When Lucy-the-hound moved in we had a Grand Old Lady in residence named Phoebe. Pheebs was our first dog as a couple, she came to our wedding and moved across the country with us twice. She was nearly 15 when she died in February, and I still feel her loss quite acutely. What we did learn when Phoebe and Lucy shared this space is that we like having two dogs. A lot. Lucy would love the company, and I'd like to hear the steady click of another set of toenails on the hardwood. We've had a couple of misses on the search for our second pup, and this may prove to be another one. "Mandy" already has another application on her, we're the second. We won't know until Friday. Seems like a long time to wait. I'm trying hard to find that precarious place between feeling positive and desperate. To trust that if this is the dog for us, she will be ours. And if not, to know that all that matters is that Miss Mandy finds love and that our pup is still out there waiting. But oh, she was so sweet...
So here I sit, frozen between hopeful and desperate. Fingers crossed.