forty-five

Well, what have we here. Another trip around the sun. I've never been bothered by age, and there's only been one year so far when I felt thrown for a loop (35, whaaat?) in the days leading up to my birthday. This year, I've got nothing. No fear of moving into another age bracket. No dread of circling another box when I fill out a form. I've always had a fair amount of disdain for people who, at the lofty height of, say 27, say they feel old. Hmmm. Live a little more and we'll talk. I don't mind my age. I don't mind birthdays. I generally feel that I am who I am, yo.

Truth be told, I'll be glad to see 44 in my rear view. It's been a bumpy year at best, with a lot of turmoil and sadness. Plans have gone awry, hearts have been broken, health has been battered. And yet. New plans are being made. Every day I try again to get my health on track. My heart, my mind and my creative spirit is enriched each day as I follow this journey in studying film that I have embarked upon. And the friends I have made as I do it? What a gift! I get to teach photography which is pretty much amazing to me and a dream come true. So much gratitude there. Seriously.

All of my friends. New and old. Fill me up in ways they'll never know. I've had to take a deep dive in the past months as I've dealt with a daily onslaught of pain, but just feeling the web around me has been nothing short of amazing.

And of course my family. And really, for the love I have for them there are no words. It's too big to contain with mere words on a screen, so I think I'll leave it at that.

So today, I'll have the cake that my friend Kim made me earlier this week for breakfast (she also took that picture of me on a little film outing we had together, on her dad's Leica with Portra 160, and there you have me, billowy raincoat, sunny day and all), and then I'll go off to meet the students in my Composition Class. After that Neel and I'll have lunch together and then maybe I'll take one of my cameras for a walk this afternoon. He and Cal are making me dinner tonight, and then another year begins.

Nothing but blue skies ahead.

one kid, one roll, on film :: april

Oh, let's see. In the last month, Cal had move-up night to the Upper School, got his learner's permit, started driving us everywhere, won our family NCAA basketball pool (I was a close second), started his baseball season at school, finished reading Their Eyes Were Watching God and started reading Romeo & Juliet. There's more. He proudly remembered my birthday in German class when his teacher asked him (makes this momma proud, too).

As for me. Well. I took a film class, but I already told you about that. I learned a lot. Like how much I have left to learn (wink). Seriously, though, I put so many pieces together, and now when I look at scans that I didn't quite get right, I actually learn why. Hey! Learning is good! As far as finding that ever-elusive voice? I'm still working on that. Still, I got a camera for my birthday, and I used it to take these shots. I think I like it. Portraits are fun. I think I'll just keep shooting and trust that everything will work itself out. Slow and steady, you know?

I think Shakespeare had it right: “Wisely and slow; they stumble that run fast.” That's from Romeo and Juliet, in case you didn't know.

And you remember how this works, right? I'm sharing this journey with some other amazing film photographers, so follow along the circle and check out their stunning images. Next up is Maggie Wright. I love her gorgeous shots.