one kid, one roll, on film :: february

hold it lightly

One of the greatest gifts I've been given, and trust me, there've been a lot, since I've started shooting film is an amazing and supportive group of men and women to share my trials and my triumphs. These are the people I turn to with my innumerable questions and my trepidatious heart. When I have a tiny victory, I share it with them first. A more giving and generous group is hard to find, I think. And they welcomed prickly me in without hesitation. Imagine that!

At the beginning of the year, I was asked by one woman in this group to going a project she'd founded called One Kid, One Roll, Once a Month. She's shooting her kids (wink) on film to measure both her growth and theirs. Talk about trepidatious! Would Cal be willing to do it with me? He doesn't always love for me to take his picture, you know. And that doesn't even begin to touch on adding my pictures to a list of immense talent out there. I'm just a rookie here, remember?

But we did it. Cal was willing (sort of) and I was brave (sort of), and here we are. Every roll of film is a test for me. I have yet to step truly confidently into that space where my hands hold the camera and my eyes trust the light.

I've talked before about how one of my biggest lessons in all of this is that everything right now is batting practice, but the other is to hold it lightly. Release expectation, put more faith in the process than the end product and know that good will come out of that.

Am I thrilled with these photos? Not necessarily. They didn't match my vision and they won't be nearly as good as many in the circle along with me. But did I learn a lot in the taking of them? Oh my, yes. And despite the exposure issues and the focus issues (damn these aging eyes!), did they capture my boy as he is, right now in this moment in time? Yes, and yes again. In that regard, they're perfect to me.

My first photography teacher and dear friend had such great advice; I try to follow it whenever I can. She said wait before you look at your images. This is tricky with digital. Easier with film. The wait is built in. But when you wait, you can separate your vision for the image from the image itself. You can hold it more lightly. Just like with batting practice, when I forget this lesson, things run afoul, and I get more prickly than normal. So hold it lightly. I'm sticking to that.

And I'll be back next month. I can't wait to see how much we both grow.

But wait! There's more! And so much gorgeousness in this blog circle. Please check out my friend Massachusetts Family Photographer Léa Jones, whose photos are next in the circle. She's always been a great inspiration to me, and she'll put my photos to shame in just the best possible way. :)

housekeeping, how goes it?

All images :: Kodak Portra 400, Pentax K1000

Oh, hi there. It's only our 5th day off school in a row. Squeeeee! Cal had Friday off for Parent/Teacher conferences (#proudmom) and of course Monday was President's Day. It was our first opportunity to have a holiday weekend where we didn't travel, and here we are, stuck in the house for day five. I. Love. It. After weeks of non-stop running, cozying up was just what this family needed. We've been snuggled in front of the Westminster Kennel Club Show, kerosene heater on high, every night.

With record cold expected tonight, we may not go back to school all week. Fortunately, film scans are delivered via email, and I found some in my inbox this week. I thought I'd share a few here. I was mostly pleased. There's a kid-on-Christmas feeling when you get the email that says your scans are ready. For me, someone who is new on this journey, there's a certain amount of trepidation too. How did I do? Did I totally embarrass myself? This is always a possibility. But yesterday, when I got my scans, I was mostly pleased. Not 100%, but getting better. Even the ones that aren't quite right, as are some of these here, have me thinking, "okay, almost there." Baby step by baby step, I figure things out.

I rarely pick up my digital camera now. That's why no Friday 365s. I don't see much sense in duplicating photos just to fill the spaces in a 365, so I'm trying to remember to take notes. Remembering to do things is not my strong suit, really. I'll cull through these and a few more and give you a retrospective, maybe. I always have things to say, it seems. I think next week, I'll take you on a little film journey. Nantucket maybe? In better weather than they've been having of late? I imagine by then we'll be back to our grind.