first steps, a lesson in film

I'm afraid as we move forward into 2015 that I'll be writing more about my process of shooting film. I'll try to intersperse these posts with my regular ramblings so as to not completely lull those of you who couldn't care less to complete sleep.

I've found however, that the lessons I learn as I undertake this artistic journey apply to other aspects of my life, so maybe you'll find something that sings to you as we go along.

Film is a funny thing, and the delay in processing time, as compared to digital, can mess up a chronology. After today, I'll probably be jumping around a bit, but it seemed important to start from the beginning. And so here we are.

A lot of you know that I was in a bit of a funk last summer. Missing our sweet Violet and missing my photography mojo too. I was struggling. Not shooting the kinds of things I wanted to shoot, and when I did take pictures, I wasn't creating images that were making me happy. Deep into the summer, I was working hard on creating my Intro to Photography classes, and that, coupled with learning the new Fuji system, sapped my creative energy. Like I said, a funk.

I needed Cal's help with a lot of images for my class, and you know what? He didn't love that. Imagine. Taking photos of your teen can be like trying to catch smoke. I get it. What if I post it to Instagram? What if one of his friends sees us down by the river, snapping pics? Like I said, I get it. He hated the sight of my camera, and honestly, I was starting to too.

At the workshop went to in West Virginia, I met a couple from western Virginia, Charlottesville area. They were drawn to my Fuji (it's cute) because they are film photographers. It was the first real talk I'd had with someone who was regularly shooting film. They were happy to answer my questions and tell me about the process. I could have talked to them all night. Before I met them, I would have sworn that I'd never shoot film. After? I walked away thinking, "Hmmm. Interesting."

I came home from that workshop to the same projects that had been sitting for weeks. The same funk too. And as I wondered how to mix some of my old projects up a bit and try to look at them with new eyes, I thought, for the first time, what if I shot them on film? I began talking with some of the women in my local photography group, and as you know, I talked to Christine. 

And here we are. On advice from my local friends, I loaded up some cheap Kodak that I found at Rite Aid, and held my breath. It took a couple of false starts. First roll of film came back blank. Second ripped in the camera before I'd finished the roll. I tried to be low key about my failures (ever aware of modeling frustration and anger), but when I got to the third roll, I asked Cal to come outside with me for just a couple test shots.

That day, I caught some smoke. And here we are. These are the shots from that roll. After I snapped a few, he said, "That's it?" Incredulous. And I knew the key to this, to continuing to shoot my son, was film. I can't check my settings. I can't check and double check the shot. All I can do is take his picture and wait for the results.

This is good stuff, right here.

weekend lookback/look forward: jan. 12

Oh, it's my favorite kind of Monday here. Rainy, gray. Mondays are my catch-up days. They aren't new project days. They're map-out, clean up, clear-the-decks days, and I'm always glad when the rain just lets me settle in.

I've been thinking even more about my 365 as your comments came in on the blog over the weekend. And about 365s in general. If I continue with one, this year's version will be my third. It's not actually that hard for me. I tend to hold it very lightly. And that would be my first bit of advice to anyone considering undertaking a project like this. Hold it lightly. Miss a day? Don't beat yourself up. Miss nearly two weeks, like I did this past year after Violet died? Take a breath and, when you're ready, get back to shooting. Have a series of days where you're uninspired and taking your shots of shadows of cats' ears at 9PM each night? It's okay. It'll pass.

The only rules that exist are your own. Some people have projects within projects (I know a woman who's doing her whole 365 in black and white, for example). Some follow prompts. Some practice new techniques each week or month. For me? The best is just to document my day. It's the main reason I pick up my camera anyway, and at the end of the year I have the record to look back on. That's the main reason I don't really want to abandon the project now.

It's easier than you think. Promise. Yes. Some days are hard. Some days you feel stuck. Some days you get sick or just sick of your camera, but if you go back to rule #1 (hold it lightly) and remind yourself that not every photo needs to be a masterpiece, you generally find you can push through.

Worry less. So many people I talk to feel daunted by the prospect of a 365. They think they're not committed enough and can't fathom the thought of a photo every day for a year. But the truth is, it's a project not about 365 photos, but instead about a single photo at a time. Don't worry beyond that. Just take today's photo and let the project take you where it will.

And then, the habits you develop are their own reward. In fact, the rewards are pretty numerous. The growth I've seen in my skill over the past two years comes, in large part, to my work on my 365s. The rhythm and structure that comes from a daily shooting habit can filter into other parts of your life, but it's daily shooting that's helped to train my eye and strengthen both my technical and compositional skills.

Plus, there's the record you have at the end. Either of your growth as a photographer or of your family's year, and if you're lucky, there's both. That's pretty nice.

But for me, I'm at the point where doing a 365 has morphed from "project" to "the thing I do every day." That's okay, but it seems time for something more. I just, 12 days in, don't quite know what that is yet! Yes, it will incorporate film. Just this weekend, my shots for Saturday and Sunday were both on film, so you won't be seeing them on this week's recap. I'm down with that. So for now, I'll follow my own rules to hold it lightly and see where the project takes me.

As long as we're talking about photography, I just wanted to let my local friends know that I'm teaching two classes at MOCA this winter. My Intro to Photography class is full, but I believe there are still a few spots available in my Fundamentals of Composition class. For more information and to register, check here. Thanks, as always, for holding my hand along this journey.