1. I think I can tell I'm ready for spring when I hate every single thing in my wardrobe.

2. I think one of the best things we did this week was surprise Callum by having Alfie (my dad) come up a day early. I was coming into the house behind him, so I missed the look on his face, but I could see the shock in the shape of Callum's body when he first saw Alfie standing in our living room. It was hard to do homework Wednesday night, but it was worth it.

3. I think that in all the significant things in a young man's life, there is little more significant than a relationship with a really good coach.

4. I think another lovely part of my week was spending a bit of it with my friend and fellow photographer Judith, who owns Fresh Look Photography. We had coffee and talked about life and photography and everything in between. She even interviewd me for her blog, which was weird and fun! Judith and I first met in an advanced photography class at the art center where she now teaches, and we're able to get together each month with the photography group that has grown out of some of those classes. Meaningful collaboration can make such a difference. There's so much I need to learn and so much that I'm not good at. Our twice monthy group meeting, and the times that I get together with the others in the group, just one on one are so good for me. They energize me and lift me up. Being with Judith was like that. Even if all we did was talk about raising our kids and what our favorite lenses were!

5. I think we have a lovely weekend ahead. Callum is off today, and he's off Monday too. It's always so fun having my dad here, and let's face it, the days off won't hurt! It's bitterly cold (we nearly froze to death at Callum's baseball game last night), but Easter means spring, and all our limbs are stretching out, like those vines, reaching for the sun. However you celebrate, weather it be by egg-dye or solemn ceremony, please have a lovely weekend yourselves. XO

Thank you all, for your kind comments on yesterday's post. I feel all sorts of good and hopeful things about our country these days, don't you?

This has been a big legal week for the US. Our Supreme Court (that's the big daddy of our legal system) heard two cases that pertain to the rights of same-sex couples to marry. Prop 8, a law in California, bans same-sex couples from actually getting married. On Tuesday, the constitutionality of that proposition was argued before the court. The Defense of Marriage Act, known as DOMA, was before the Supreme Court yesterday. DOMA, signed into law by President Clinton in 1996, basically says that marriage is between one man and one woman and therefore denies federal benefits and programs to same-sex couples. These benefits include tax savings, family and medical leave, and Social Security payments. This case was brought to the court on behalf of an 83-year old woman who was forced to pay over $300,000 in estate taxes when her partner of 42 years died, simply because they were of the same sex and could not legally marry.

Well. You all (y'all) probably know how I feel about this. It simply baffles me that I have the legal right to marry based on who I fell in love with and other people don't. And truthfully, it's a bit more complicated than that. Neel's mother was Irish and his father is East Indian, so he's bi-racial. His parents' marriage, which took place in Pennsylvania in 1965, could have easily been impacted by Loving vs. Virginia. That's the Supreme Court Case that legalized interracial marriage. Pennsylvania, however, had already legalized interracial marriage, and was in fact the first state to do so. In 1780. The parallels between the current cases before the court and Loving vs. Virginia are fascinating. The Supreme Court decision in Loving vs. Virginia refers back to the 14th Amendment and its Equal Protection Clause. This clause says simply that "no state shall ... deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws."

Equal protection of the laws. Equal. Equality. We are not all the same, but we all deserve equality under the law.

I've talked to you about my friends Mark and Fred (my friend Fred from France) before. While we're watching this closely for so many friends (And by the way, I don't have "gay" friends, I have "friends."), we're watching the arguments on DOMA very closely because of Mark and Fred. On Tuesday, Mark posted this on his Facebook page:

Twenty-three years.

Four children.

Four homes.

Had money, lost money, had money, lost money, working on getting money.

And more mini-vans than you can shake a stick at.

If that's not a "marriage", I don't know what is.

Neel and I were joking with another friend that really, Fred and Mark do marriage better than we do: more kids, more houses, more minivans. They even go to church way more than we do. If you're going to deny someone rights, I'm not sure Neel and I should make the cut! However, because they are a same-sex couple, Fred's immigration status rests in the hands of the Supreme Court's repeal of DOMA and Mark and Fred's family rests in the hands in the repeal of DOMA. How can this be? How can what I take so for granted, the simple ins and outs of daily family life, become a matter of legislation for someone simply because of who he happened to fall in love with? Where would we be if Neel's parent's couldn't have married?

I believe in love. I believe in marriage. I will always, always fall down on the side of more, not fewer, rights for our citizens. If the family is the bedrock of our society, how can we deny anyone who chooses to come together and create one, no matter how, the basic right to do so?

All you need is love.

five things, march 29 edition

all you need is love {still + life}