project 52 {life}

Breakfast.

So I'm doing a Project 52. A photo a week (at least) for a year. Clickin' Moms has a themed Project 52, and that's what this photo is for. Breakfast. From what I understand it'll be a mix of techniques and ideas, and I'm excited to stretch myself with someone else's prompts. I thought about a Project 365 (or 366 this year or 365+1, or whatever people are calling it!), and amazing people are doing amazing things with their Project 365 all over the place (You can check out one of my faves from a super fun blogger here.) Have been for years. It's not the picture taking that daunts me, frankly, it's the editing. Gah. So I'll do a quasi-one on my own, using Instagram and my phone. Although I may have missed yesterday. Whatev!

So, anyhoo (that's for you Annie and Elly), Project 52. I'll be chugging along with Clickin' Moms and also hacking away with Callum too. Still trying to figure out the particulars of that one. Random shots of Callum? Probably. He's a bit old to do shots of Callum in the same chair. And I still haven't worked out the details of how I'll post them. They may just show up in a gallery on my photography page. Really, this is still a re-entry week for us people, I don't start the New Year until the 9th at the earliest.

But breakfast. I'm not super thrilled with these photos, which doesn't seem like the greatest way to start off the year, but there you are. This means I'll see TONS of progression by December, right? RIGHT??? I was, however, super thrilled with breakfast. We're not big on breakfast around here. Especially during the week, it's a movable feast. We make sure Callum gets good and fed, but Neel and I are generally slurping our coffee as we're getting ourselves out the door. Sometimes, on the weekends however, we go big. On New Years Day, I was up before everyone (not unusual) and saw a cooking segment on the Today Show that included Egg Nog French Toast. Hello. Oh, hello. Our friends Seamane and Rob had sent us some homemade egg nog from Seamane's dad's recipe (also, YUM), and since we had some left, I decided to use it on the French Toast. Baked in the oven with crushed cereal on top (go figure). Yeah, it was as good as it sounds. Callum worried a bit because he's not a big egg nog fan, but really, it was just eggy, sweet and melty goodness. I love me some French Toast.

I've been thinking a lot about my photography lately. Almost constantly. Can you tell? (Snicker) Thinking about cameras. Trying to decide which camera to upgrade to. If I'm ready for it, and if I deserve it (read: am I worth spending that much money on & can I justify an expense that big on just me?). Trying to understand what my true vision as a photographer is. What do I really, really love to take photos of? What means the most to me? How can I make the leap from taking pictures just for me and this space here to doing more? What is MORE? How to leap? And learning. Everyday I want to learn more. I have so much to learn. I love it. Every day I love it. I was completely and utterly surprised and humbled to be mentioned on Carla Coulson's blog Carla Loves Photography today. Carla is a fellow Blogging Your Way alumna, and another powerful inspiration to me. Go read her personal story. She took the leap! In a country where they don't speak English! I don't feel half as brave. I go and read her every single day and learn something new. She is another woman who is not afraid to share what she knows, whether it's about living in Paris (if you love Paris, you'll love her blog!) or sharing what she knows as a photographer. Her friendship to me (even though we've never met) is a true gift.

I'm not sure what any of this means, and I'm sure you're tired of hearing me ramble on and on about it all. Remember, it's still re-entry week around here. I'll get pulled together by next week, whatever that means. But thank you for following along. Thank you for supporting and encouraging me. If you're here from Clickin' Moms, welcome! And thank you for making me feel so welcome in that wonderful space. If you're here from Carla's blog, thank you so much for stopping by. I hope you come again. Each and everyone of you mean the world to me.

In the hopes that some folks that Carla's blog pop by, I thought I'd throw up {life} a bit early today. Enjoy!

neighborly {life}

For our neighbor gifts this year we made homemade cocoa and marshmallows.

The marshmallows we'd made before, several years ago. This year I started to use a recipe from Smitten Kitchen that promised Jet Puffed-like marshmallows. Who wouldn't want that? About halfway through I realized that the recipe calls for egg whites and since we wouldn't be cooking them, Callum couldn't have any. No bueno. A quick scramble and reboot and all was well. Maybe not Jet Puffed, but still good. You can use powdered egg whites (which we don't have on hand), and next time I'll try that.

Making homemade marshmallows, much like Callum trying baseball for the first time, was a revelation. It's a relatively simple, but messy process, and when you're done you actually have marshmallows! I tasted my first one in astonishment. I simply couldn't believe I'd made a marshmallow. You can add all sorts of flavors or roll them in peppermint or coconut, but we're purists here.

The recipe for the cocoa comes loosely based from this blog. There's some mad good food on there if you want to go and check it out. We used Ghirardelli's Cocoa and extra sugar, adding cardamom and vanilla sugar sprinkled on top.  We packaged these up in mugs for Callum's teachers (remember from here?) and in Ball jars for the folks in the 'hood. I added a photo from among these you see here, along with directions and a warning: NOT! SWEET! Homemade marshmallows are so melty though. I think they'll go nicely together.

I should have a photo of the completed package to show you or a cup of steaming cocoa to round out this post, but I don't. Today is back to school for Callum, and he couldn't sleep last night. He loves school, but he loves being home too. Two worlds colliding is the worst, isn't it? After four, I finally got him up and we came downstairs. I think on some nights like that you're best off just conceding and changing your scenery rather than thrashing around and cursing the dark. If we'd had any cocoa left for ourselves I'd have made it, in the dark early morning. I made us some chai instead, and we snuggled under our favorite blanket on the sofa. He finally grew sleepy as he gazed at the photos on the screen saver. He actually said to me, "Momma, your pictures have really gotten better over the years." Sleepy sweet boy. After a bit, cuddled up there together, we both slept. Better than a photo of a mug of cocoa any day.

looking back {life}

Back in November I joined an online photography forum called Clickin Moms. I can't tell you what a terrific decision this was for me. Clickin Moms is an amazing group of women (both professional and hobbyist photographers) with a wealth of knowledge who have come together to form a warm and welcoming community dedicated to photography. Clickin Moms offers workshops, creative challenges, a blog, breakout sessions and amazingly informative forums...I feel like I've barely scratched the surface of everything that's out there. I've had questions about camera upgrades that have been answered in great detail. I've had questions about camera bags that pointed me to bags I didn't even know existed! I've definitely gained some gear-envy, but the camera comes first. I've seen some amazing work. Next week, I'll be starting their Shooting 101 workshop as a study-along, and I'm really excited about it. Even though I've been shooting in Manual for awhile, it doesn't completely feel intuitive to me, and I think this course might fill in some gaps.

Anyhoo. Along with the group, one member  posted a challenge of sorts with a prize being a full participation in that class. Woo-hoo! The contest? Post your favorite eleven photos of your kids (or pets!) throughout the year. An Eleven for Eleven. Harder than you think. I don't tend to look back, but this was more fun than I expected. And since I took a few photography classes this year, I had some good photos to choose from. Here they are.

One thing I appreciate so much about my son is how willing he is to let me take his picture. This one is part of a series taken over lunchtime at one of our favorite spots.

Hurricane Irene. Callum out in the thick of it. Of course.

Making the switch from lacrosse to baseball was a revelation. A challenge. On his second game he hit a double and drove in the game-winning run. Afterwards, his coach gave him the game ball. The he ran the bases one more time.

Then we went out to lunch.

I can see how much he is maturing in these photos from Thanksgiving. It can be a bitter pill to swallow, watching my baby grow up. Neel is good at reminding me: he's a wonderful kid and he's going to be a wonderful young man.

He's still our kid, though.

And finally, this most recent and one of my all-time favorites. This boy is happiest when he's with his pups. His pups are happiest too.

So there you have it. A quasi-year-in-review. I have a lot of plans for photography this year. Looking at a Project 52 and some other ideas. I'll keep you posted. It'll be interesting to be back in this space next year at this time and see what changes have ensued.

http://www.clickitupanotch.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/Top11of11.gif

Monday Mash Up, 12 for 12 edition

1. Carry my camera every day.
2. Become a more patient and less reactive mother.
3. Move my body.
4. Get better organized about money.
5. Get better organized in general.
6. Cook more fish.
7. Cook more and varied side dishes (we're in a total rut here)
8. Continue to add glamour to my life.
9. Be a better friend and wife.
10. Do something BIG.
11. Open my heart.
12. Leap.

That last one is so important. It means a lot of things for me, but specifically, it refers both to photograph and blogging in this space, I think. After my workshop in Charleston, Helene posted this on my facebook page: You know how I feel about following your passion: leap.
Repeat everyday: if I don't put worth to my work, no one else will. And Lauren, you are worth it. It's not being a pedantic ass, it's being assertive that you have something beautiful to bring to this world with constant practice and shooting. I don't have to tell you what her words meant to me. Since then, all month, I've been thinking a lot about my vision as a photographer, and I've understood it better than ever before. I'm anxious to keep practicing. I'm anxious to keep learning. I'm not entirely sure what it means or how I plan to go about doing it, but I'm ready to make the leap. In all sorts of ways, I'm ready to leap. It's going to be a crazy-fun year, you guys, and I have all sorts of plans. I can't wait to spend it with you! Happy New Year!

P.S. SOBO is a moniker we hooked on our block. It's what we call ourselves.
P.P.S. You can't tell it in these photos where I used some LR presets, but I wore my red lipstick.

five things, december 30th edition

My friend Alice gave me her mom's recipe for Chocolate Crinkle Cookies many years ago. This year was the first time my mom made them.

1. I think I feel as tired and worn out as the old year.
2. I think my favorite ritual this season was lighting our Christmas tree as soon as I got up each morning. Early. I'll need to find a replacement ritual.
3. I think my favorite part of Christmas was sitting in Callum's boy-cave the day after Christmas as he, Neel and my dad played with trains.
4. I think I'm crazy to host part of our neighborhood New Year's Progressive, but I'm looking forward to it.
5. I think I needed the blogging and social media break I took this week, but I miss my peeps. I checked in on you guys here and there, but it wasn't enough.

I'll be back Sunday to wish everyone Happy New Year, and Monday's Mash Up will include my 12 for 12. Are you working on yours?

It's Christmas

All the Christmases roll down toward the two-tongued sea, like a cold and headlong moon bundling down the sky that was our street; and they stop at the rim of the ice-edged fish-freezing waves, and I plunge my hands in the snow and bring out whatever I can find.

Dylan Thomas, A Child's Christmas in Wales

Christmas Eve

It's Christmas Eve! I'm so happy today. I love Christmas Eve. We had a great day yesterday. I had breakfast with my family in the morning, and we gathered with friends for an oyster roast last night. I wore my glitter shoes and red lipstick ("Truly Red" by Laura Mercier for those of you keeping track at home. Although the recommendations keep rolling in...thanks Annie!). I got up early (as usual) and did all the dishes which felt like a little gift to Neel, since he's usually the one elbow deep in the suds.

Today my dad and I will take our annual trip to the mall to watch all the frantic people milling about. We have a last minute grocery trip and some wrapping to do. Tonight we'll have Seven Layer Salad and Grilled Sausages with mustards to dip. It's our traditional Christmas Eve dinner. Years and years ago, when my grandparents were living, we'd gathered at their house for Christmas (Neel was in graduate school at this point). My granddad, while not exactly a shut-in, was close, and on Christmas Eve my dad and I opened the door to a church friend of my grandmother's bearing a Seven Layer Salad. It was a treat we'd always loved at potlucks, but it never occurred to us that we could make our own! We've had it whenever we've been together for Christmas ever since. Tonight, after some football, we're going to Christmas Eve services with my friend Catherine tonight, and then tomorrow. Tomorrow! I always defer to Kipper on Christmas Eve. What's best? Presents or expecting presents?

I love this photo of the Parliament Building in Budapest for so many reasons. It was such a wonderful trip to an unexpectedly delightful city that I thought I'd pop it up here in honor of our European daydreams. And it was this picture and several others that made me realize that there was a dial on my camera that changed how my pictures look. Somehow the dial got bumped to "M" for a batch of photos, and I ended up with roughly a dozen over-exposed pictures of Callum and Neel along the Danube. This is one of them, although I love the muted palette. I remember saying to Neel, "What does 'M' even mean???"

Hard to believe I've been shooting in "Manual" for nearly two years now.

Don't look now...it's Christmas Eve!

five things, december 23rd edition

1. I think I'm very much looking forward to what the evening has in store. Two words: oyster roast.
2. I think I'm already thinking about my 12 for 12 list. For those of you who are new here, I do a quasi-resolution list every year. I am very loose in my commitment to this list, and it has a mix of big and little goals. I rarely go back and check to see how many I've met until the end of the year and sometimes there's carry-over from year to year. I have some big things in mind. And some not so big too. Heather, from Home Again Jog has a great 40X40 list. Aren't lists fun?
3. I think it's awesome that we chained my mom to the kitchen pretty much all day on Wednesday. The cookies are great.
4. I think I want to spend Christmas somewhere else sometime. I asked on my personal Facebook page yesterday, if you could spend the holiday in any European city, which would you choose? Anyone care to weigh in?
5. I think, at times, we as bloggers wrestle with how much to share here in these spaces we create. The bigger part of me believes that forthright and honest writing is what really connects with people, and that I am a better me when I write from the heart and tell you what is true (the good and the bad) and real for me. In my Blogging Your Way course, Holly and Leslie talk about using your blog as a vehicle to live your best life. That really resonates with me. I'm working hard to fear less being vulnerable here, and to know that whatever I want to share, it's okay. All that to say, some things are still private for me and my family. Some things have occurred in my past or are happening to us along the way that don't bear exposure here. What I will share with you is this. Something will happen for me today that I have been waiting for for a long time. This is a behind-the-scenes kind of thing that you won't ever see detailed on these pages. But to me it is significant and important. I am equal measures nervous and excited. This moment is likely a decade in the making, and all I've wanted for Christmas for a long time. Maybe it's something I can explain to you someday, but it involves a lot of sadness as well as people who may not want their stories told here. That's fair. All I want you to know is that I am very happy today, and all I ask is that you save an extra thought for me and my little family as you go about your day.

I'll likely throw up a quick Christmas Eve hello tomorrow , and then I may or may not be around much next week. We'll see how the mood strikes me!

white tree {life}

Here's our white tree. Smaller and creamier than I anticipated. But I love it.

It's also the solstice. The shortest day of the year.

I love winter.

"O Winter! ruler of the inverted year, . . . I crown thee king of intimate delights, Fireside enjoyments, home-born happiness, And all the comforts that the lowly roof Of undisturb'd Retirement, and the hours Of long uninterrupted evening, know." ~William Cowper

carrots {life}

I know, I know. Somewhat incongruous, right? I mean winter solstice is just around the corner after all. But I needed a festivity-breather. Just a pause from all the bling and bows and the crinkle of wrapping paper (or not-crinkle, depending on how much wrapping I haven't done).

My mom is here and we're having so much fun. It's been a long time. Not since we've had fun, but since she's been here. So yes, since we've had fun. Together. In the same place. We went shopping Monday (where I made some bad choices at the outlets that I will now have to drive an hour to return. After the holidays.) and yesterday we went to Sephora where I made some good choices like this in Truly Red (although Theresa has me thinking about Viva Glam by M.A.C. Can a gal have too many red lipsticks? We'd headed to the grocery store first (a lot of baking will be done here in the next few days), and I spied these carrots.

I couldn't resist them.

As soon as we picked Callum up from his half day (hooray! Christmas vacation!) and we cleared out the car, I grabbed a plate and cutting board and took my carrots up to the studio.

It felt like taking a breath.

I've actually spent a lot of time in the studio (such as it is) this weekend. I'll have lots of photos to show you in the coming days, I imagine. There was nice light up there yesterday afternoon. I didn't diffuse anything, since the rice-paper shade I have available to use to diffuse lends a golden light (okay at times, just not what I wanted for these guys). These are almost all backlit with a bounce from the front. I'm trying and trying to apply what I learned in Charleston (low ISO, low shutter speed, get out the freaking tripod, already!), and I still have so much to figure out about light. I'm coming to hate to viewfinder on my camera. Or at least not trust it. Maybe it's myself I don't trust. I'm getting there.

It felt good, though, just being up there. I enjoyed watching the play of sunshine in and out of the clouds and the shadows it created on my table and with the carrots. I liked the patience it forced me to have if the sun got too bright. Callum was outside playing basketball, oh sweet freedom, and my mom was downstairs working on the cookie dough. I could hear the washer going in the background, and the dogs were milling about my feet. It was my perfect idea of domestic tranquility. Just where I wanted to be.

Here's where the carrots ended up. Back in the mix of our food-life. Ready for a salad or somesuch. Things are gearing up in the best of ways. The whirl of gaiety. I can't wait.

But I'm glad I took a breath.

monday mash up, december 19

Such a busy weekend! My mom got in last night for her traditional pre-Christmas visit and we were busy right up until then. I got glitter shoes! We harvested the last of the basil...in December! That's crazytown. I made a great soup from December's Martha Stewart Living. I made pulled pork BBQ, more on that later. I got marshmallow in my hair. Marshmallow if you'd left them out in the car for a few hours. In August. That was fun. We got the teacher gifts all done and Callum, poor Callum was all wrapped up in studying for his first math exam. Oh! And our white tree! It's really more cream than white and smaller than I wanted, but I still really like it. What do you think? So I hope to be around these parts this week, but hey, it's busy. No promises. I'll do my best though. For sure on Friday, if not before. What are you guys up to? How was everyone's weekend? Anything going on this week? xo

five things, december 16th edition

all photos taken at Simply Selma's. I love instagram.

1. I think I have nearly everything done. Nearly.
2. I think were all so excited that my mom (Ama) gets here on Sunday. She'll start baking!
3. I think I'm so grateful to Simply Selma's for taking such good care of us at gift purchasing and wrapping time.
4. I think I am totally overwhelmed by the support I have received this week. From your interest in my workshop, to Helene's continued support (I'm beyond tickled that she gave SPL a shout out on tartlette!) and guidance to purchasing a white Christmas tree (long story) to reconnecting with old photography friends. Even Heirloom Book Company shared the link to the blog post I wrote! All the love I feel from Charleston makes me want to move there! Honestly, I couldn't ask for much more.
5. I think all of you who think my friend Mark's comments are so funny and so clever should go check out his blog Our Simple Lives. He is just as funny and clever as he appears here, and he'll keep you laughing, but I warn you, he's cold hearted and the words "sweet," "lovely" or "awesome" will never appear in emails to you or in comments to your own posts. Just sayin'.

Happy Weekend dear friends! Christmas is a-coming! Oh wait, before I go! I want to know: what's everyone making for Christmas dinner? We're still deciding around these parts, and I could use some inspiration.

workshop {life}

I already told you it was wonderful, but it was wonderful. I learned so much. We were hosted in this amazing bookshop, the Heirloom Book Company. I highly, highly encourage you to go and check it out. You won't be sorry. Their website is delightful. Not quite as delightful as the shop itself, but close.

I wish we had one here.

In some ways, it's hard for me to write about the workshop itself. The day was such a mix of impressions and sensations. I always, always wish I'd taken more pictures to share with you here. I'm sure I was a little intimidated (!), but I also just wanted to experience the day. Soak it in, you know? But the space itself was lovely. They closed the shop for us. Along with Helene, there were about eight or nine of us taking the class, a complete mix of skill and varied interests. We spent the first half of the day going over a wonderful presentation that Helene had prepared. Everyone staring into their laptops, taking notes. I learned so much in that small space of time. Important, technical stuff. Stuff I had a sense about generally, but that I could start to apply specifically to my work. I'll try to explain a bit more in a moment.

After one, we stopped for lunch. And lunch! I was too busy embarrassing myself by diving face-first in the food to take pictures of lunch. But we had the quinoa salad that Helene had recently featured on her blog, three different quiches and a gorgeous antipasti plate from a local restaurant called Lana. The food was simply another amazing component of this already thrilling day.

My mom had said that I would meet all sorts of interesting people, and I did. I was, as you could probably imagine, thrilled to meet Helene. And you know that kind of worry that you have when meeting someone that you've long admired? That, almost afraid to say it out loud kind of worry: what if I don't like her? Well, sure, that was there a little. Because how sad if I didn't? I needn't have fretted one bit. She's delightful. Warm and vivacious. A wonderful storyteller. All the life you see in her photos, well, it's right there in her personality. The camera, even though she's behind it, brings that out, I think. There were college students there, and another food blogger from A Scrumptious Life. A woman from Le Creuset (Hello? Are those harps I hear? Only my favorite cookware!), and a photographer (our lone male representative!) who photographs interiors in Charleston. A woman from Turkey who blogs about Turkish food and another young woman who is a photographer and works for the Historical Preservation Society of Charleston...she had on some awesome flats that I pretty much coveted the whole time, but that's a story for another day. The recent winner of Food Network's Cupcake Wars and owner of Cupcrazed Bakery was there so she could take better photos of her cupcakes (and lo and behold, I discovered that her runner-up was Norfolk's own Carolina Cupcakery!), and I nearly fell out of my seat (you laugh, but it's true) when Helene introduced one of our classmates, Sara Foster of Foster's Market, gourmet food markets in the Durham/Chapel Hill area and author of some of our family's all time favorite cookbooks. She was so classy and reserved, that I tried really hard to pick myself up off the floor and not gush, but when we were sitting together at lunch, how could I not thank her for feeding my family for years and years and years. I tried to keep it cool, though. But you know what my mom says? The south has it going on. And she's right.

After lunch, Helene demonstrated some food styling for us, using baba ganoush and a hamburger. Tricky things those. The goal is to see how to build a story and learn how to style both the pretty food and the ugly food.

And then we were let loose. This part was really, really hard for me actually. I got a little frozen. All those props to choose from, not to mention surfaces like table tops and cutting boards and things like silverware...lordy, I could go on and on and on. And then you pick the food you want to work with! Berries and beets and bread and olives and herbs and salads. Too! Many! Options! I was stymied with indecision. I know I just walked around for a little bit, looking and feeling dazed.

So we spent the afternoon like this. Grabbing food from one table, grabbing props from another. Checking in on each other's work. Helene would spend time with each of us (And when she came to check on me, I had only props - no food. Figures!) and offer suggestions. I wish I could have chatted with her longer, but even so, I learned a lot.

Here's Helene holding a bounce (reflector) for Sara and (I think) checking the results.

When I told my dad the story about this weekend and how wonderful and supportive the whole community and especially Helene was, he noted how remarkable it was to find someone so willing to not only share her talent with the other photographers but how special it was that she was so committed to teaching and encouraging us. And she was. She offered criticism and construction in its truest form, the kind that moves you forward and builds you up instead of bringing you down. And even though I was dazed by the end of the day (!), I was completely fulfilled and encouraged too. What a gift. I truly believe that what you put out to the world comes back to you, and that Helene's whole spirit will bring her much. It already has.

By the end of the day, the prop table was a mess and we were all chatting like old friends. Everyone was exchanging business cards (although I don't actually HAVE any yet) and chatting happily. That was nice. Helene encouraged everyone to keep asking questions and wouldn't let anyone help clean up.Here, specifically, is what I learned. I need to decrease my ISO; I rely on the high numbers too much, I'm afraid. And I need not fear decreasing my shutter speed, BUT! I have to stop being lazy and use the wonderful tripod that Neel and Callum got me for Mother's Day. If I'm in the studio for crying out loud, why not get it out? I learned how to change the focus point on my camera and what apertures to use for a lot of food photography. I learned that I want to try shooting in AP, not just manual, and I'm going to experiment with how to shoot to get the steam rising out of a hot cup of coffee. It's a lot. Make any sense? It feels particular to me, so it may not be your cup of tea. I focused SO much on the light that my mind got fuzzy on the rest of the stuff (thank goodness for her wonderful PDF!). I should probably do this workshop again.

Here's what else I learned. This feels very, very right for me. I have this sense that there is a path in front of me, and this weekend I took a big step on that path. Helene said, "food is humanity." She's right. I think the reason I end up photographing my food so much is because it's such a big part of caring for myself and my family. I know the time is coming for me to fine tune my goals as a photographer. Is it food photography? I don't know, yet. All I know is that I'm going to keep doing what I'm doing and the rest will figure itself out.