I think I'm still processing this trip. I told you I was in a photography funk, and when I finally looked at the 1,000+ photos on my memory card, I was, "meh." Seems a shame, doesn't it? Honestly, this vacation was so... weird. All little things, but if something could go wrong for me, it did. I lost my favorite sweater (more on that later). I slammed my knee into a stainless steel bench at Termini Station in Rome. I slammed my toe into the back of a bus seat on the ride from Sorrento to Positano (causing much icky blood and the loss of my big toe nail...TMI, I know). I had two migraines (one on the flight back home, so triple UGH). See? Little things, but they add up.

And then there's the mom factor. My friend Kim and I were talking about this at lunch. The mom factor says that the mom never gets to do the things she really wants to do. I know I sound incredibly bitchy right there, and I promise I don't mean it that way. We had an absolutely amazing time, and I'm so grateful for all we did. But when we went to get fried artichokes in the Jewish ghetto in Rome it was simply too hot to make the trek. And when I finally made it to Positano, it stormed and we had to grab the last boat out at the early (rainy) hour of 5PM.

Neel will read this and (likely) think I'm being whiny, and my dad will read this and worry that I didn't have fun. Not true! (Well, maybe a little whiny.) No one can fault the fact that it was the hottest week in Rome, ever, and no one can fault the storms that moved through Positano. Everything we did do was spectacular and amazing, and I'm so grateful for every moment we had. I'll share them in the coming days (with all the lousy photos -wink-), but there's no mistaking the fact that Violet's death threw me off my game (And I promise, I'll stop bringing up the dead dog. After one last post, which I'm not yet ready to write.)

How's this for horrible? I did not buy a single souvenir. See? Clearly not thinking straight. (And I'm starting to think Neel and I need to go to Positano for our 20th anniversary... Next October, Neel!) But you know what? It was amazing, and there were spectacularly wonderful moments each and every day. I just figured I'd better get the negative stuff before sharing the good stories. Except the one about my dad, the pigeon and the steps of the Vatican. That's kind of a negative story, but I'll be sharing it later anyway.

Bet you can't wait.

Row 1: Parthenon | Greek flag flying | Ionian Sea; Row 2: Our hotel | Dinner at the port of Katakolon, Greece | Cal swimming; Row 3: Olympia | Cal; Row 4: Colosseum | Sorrento | Amalfi Coast; Row 5: Positano | Sweet Violet — **Row 1:** Parthenon | Greek flag flying | Ionian Sea; **Row 2:** Our hotel | Dinner at the port of Katakolon, Greece | Cal swimming; **Row 3:** Olympia | Cal; **Row 4:** Colosseum | Sorrento | Amalfi Coast; **Row 5:** Positano | Sweet Violet

Well, we made it home. Got in last week and have been in recovery mode ever since. The trip was fabulous, sublime and surreal on so many levels. It was also distracting, exhausting and sad.

As so many of you know by now, we lost our sweet Violet while we were gone, and I can't pretend that her death didn't impact much of the trip for me once we heard the news. Coming home to her absence has been, if anything, bewildering, like getting bad news twice. Cal and I have been recuperating and trying to heal our hearts on a steady diet of The West Wing and Smartpop popcorn (mixing the white cheddar with the kettle corn has turned out to be our best decision all week). He's worried about me, but I'm fine. Just sad, and I'd like the opportunity to simply be so.

So yes, we're home. The trip feels like a beautiful blur, and though I took many photos and will start to dismantle my memory card and share them here soon, I feel like I lost my photography mojo somewhere along the way. It felt like there was little connection to the pictures I've been taking, and now that we're back, I haven't felt inclined to pick up my camera much at all. Hoping that changes soon.

When I come home from a trip, I usually feel energized in my space and anxious to tackle my world with the new-found knowledge our travels have given me. Rejuvenated and ready to start new rituals. This time, for a lot of reasons, I feel exhausted and achy, and, as I said, bewildered. The other dogs are restless and agitated, but seem okay. Still, it's very quiet in the house without her.

And to all of you who reached out to us through messages on Facebook and Instagram, through notes and texts, how can I ever thank you enough? How can I ever tell you what your kind and thoughtful words meant to me. We read them all, each and everyone, reaching across so many miles. Thank you, thank you, and thank you again. I've missed you all, and I'm anxious to "see" you again and to "hear" your voices around me. What's been happening lately? X

across the world in 10 photos {still + life}

back safe, home again [june 23]