Well, we've had a time around these parts. On and off line, I suppose. As you can see from your address bar, we're making tweaks to SPL, and carts got put in front of horses and things were a bit rough for awhile (I may or may not have been weeping in the laps of the wonderful folks from Customer Support at MacHighway, but that's a story for another day.), but I'm here (thank goodness), and you are too (really, really, thank YOU!), so I'll try to keep things smooth sailing from here on out. Thank you to all of you who checked in and wanted to make sure things were okay. They mostly weren't okay, but they never were insurmountable. We're getting there.

In the midst of all of this our sweet Violet has been getting worse. Our vet had wanted to do a follow-up with her this week anyway, but Neel and I were both noticing appreciable changes in her gait and struggles with her back legs. We simply love our vet, at Dog and Cat Hospital, not least of which because she (rightly so) adores Miss Violet. Dr. Marshall has been cautious but careful, and yet it was clearly time for further action. Yesterday we headed north about half an hour to a surgeon recommended by our vet. This surgeon is wonderful and has now recommended that we head south and west about three hours for an MRI. It could be a bulging disk. It could be a mass on her spine. But we need answers. It doesn't hurt that our vet wrote on our records to the the surgeon that Violet was "the sweetest dog ever." She's right. We leave at seven this morning for an involved (and pricey) appointment that will hopefully clarify our next steps.

Between that and my blog woes, the mantle of worry has weighed heavily upon me this week.

I was all set to tell you about our weekend, which was pretty fabulous, so I'll just pop a few tidbits on here. We had just the most lovely dinner with friends on Friday night (and Neel got some long awaited spaghetti and meatballs) which capped off the most decadent day ever: hike, then lunch, then dinner. If I managed to squeeze a massage in there somewhere, I practically would have qualified as a Real Housewife. Our Supper Club went really well, even though some people (I'm looking at YOU Tequila Bill) had babies to avoid us, and perhaps flu season isn't the best time to get together. Still, we managed to shuffle through with some amazing food and equally wonderful company. I'll blog about it as soon as I possibly can. But really the highlight of my day was saving a whopping $61.43 at the grocery store on Saturday. It's the little things, right? It's $61.43 worth of things.

There's one other thing I want to say about our weekend, and that's the fog. It was thick and dark and deep almost all weekend. Saturday, for sure, never got past misty. I know I've told you that we're just blocks from the Elizabeth River, one of the busiest rivers in the US, and on Saturday morning I woke up to the sound of foghorns, long and low. All morning they blew. It's such a mournful sound, but beautiful too, and I thought how lucky we are to live near the river and hear that sound. It's good to remember how lucky you are sometimes.

So as you're reading this, we've likely headed out the door. Violet has probably begged at least half a dozen times to stop and get fries at McDonalds (she can't have food past midnight), and she's saying over and over again "When Violet was good, she was very, very good, and when she was bad she was PRETTY!" (It's going to be a long drive.) Please hold us all in the light. My little puppers especially. I don't know exactly what the week will hold for me. I've been taking photos, and I have some posts lined up, but I can't promise to get them on here. Frankly, I'm just happy to be here. Love you guys. Thanks for everything. We're getting there.

Every year, at the start of a new year, I do a list of resolutions (you can see last year's list here). I see the flaw in the plan of a 12 for 12 or a 13 for 13...this list could get pretty long, people! We'll cross that bridge when we come to it. Anyhoo, here's my list for the upcoming year, such as it is.

1. Read more for education, not just comfort

2. Commit to exercise

3. Be both a more adventurous and a less adventurous cook

4. Push myself as a photographer (a 365, maybe?)

5. Reach out to friends more

6. Be a less fearful traveler

7. Be better at follow-through

8. Value myself more, both as a person and as a professional

9. Develop a schedule and stick to it

10. Love people in the way that they need to be loved

11. Continue to add glamour to my life

12. Create some order out of my personal chaos

13. Be a better wife, mother, friend, writer and photographer

Last year, I didn't say much about my resolutions, and I'm not sure I should this year. Number two is because I've had Move my Body on the list for years, and I've always done just enough to meet the resolution obligation. Now I want to do more. Number ten is a paraphrase from a conversation I had with my neighbor Sara about how she was spending the holidays. It seemed like a good idea to love people in the way that they need, not the way that I need. I'm primarliy a comfort reader, and I'd like to push myself a bit. Stretch my boundaries. That's where number one comes in. I don't mean deep literature, that too is a kind of comfort reading for me; I want to learn things. Any suggestions? I'd love some. Regarding number seven? Well, see number four.

I had a word for last year and it was leap. At first when I looked back, I felt I hadn't lived up. I was pretty okay with that because a lot of things got in my way. After some thought, I realized that I did leap. I leapt a lot. Just not in the ways I expected or even wanted to. But I did some things that were good and right. Good and right for me and our family, at least. So is there a word for this year? I don't know. Leap, again, maybe. Reach. Don't hesitate.

I'm always reminded of Rilke's Archaic Torso of Apollo at times like these, list-making times, times of new beginnings. His last stanza goes like this,

would not, from all the borders of itself,

burst like a star: for here there is no place

that does not see you. You must change your life.

Isn't that how we all feel, here, on New Year's Day?

getting there {still + life}

happy new year, 13 for 13