Well, what have we here. Another trip around the sun. I've never been bothered by age, and there's only been one year so far when I felt thrown for a loop (35, whaaat?) in the days leading up to my birthday. This year, I've got nothing. No fear of moving into another age bracket. No dread of circling another box when I fill out a form. I've always had a fair amount of disdain for people who, at the lofty height of, say 27, say they feel old. Hmmm. Live a little more and we'll talk. I don't mind my age. I don't mind birthdays. I generally feel that I am who I am, yo.

Truth be told, I'll be glad to see 44 in my rear view. It's been a bumpy year at best, with a lot of turmoil and sadness. Plans have gone awry, hearts have been broken, health has been battered. And yet. New plans are being made. Every day I try again to get my health on track. My heart, my mind and my creative spirit is enriched each day as I follow this journey in studying film that I have embarked upon. And the friends I have made as I do it? What a gift! I get to teach photography which is pretty much amazing to me and a dream come true. So much gratitude there. Seriously.

All of my friends. New and old. Fill me up in ways they'll never know. I've had to take a deep dive in the past months as I've dealt with a daily onslaught of pain, but just feeling the web around me has been nothing short of amazing.

And of course my family. And really, for the love I have for them there are no words. It's too big to contain with mere words on a screen, so I think I'll leave it at that.

So today, I'll have the cake that my friend Kim made me earlier this week for breakfast (she also took that picture of me on a little film outing we had together, on her dad's Leica with Portra 160, and there you have me, billowy raincoat, sunny day and all), and then I'll go off to meet the students in my Composition Class. After that Neel and I'll have lunch together and then maybe I'll take one of my cameras for a walk this afternoon. He and Cal are making me dinner tonight, and then another year begins.

Nothing but blue skies ahead.

move up night

So last night was move-up night. At Cal's school, upper school covers 10th, 11th and 12th grade, so as a 9th grader, Cal has been in his last year of middle school this year.

It's exciting to hear about the changes that will take place as Cal moves into upper school. More freedom, more responsibility. More electives. More choices. More of everything. Good stuff, but daunting too as we face the prospect of college down the not-too-distant pike.

As we were walking in, we ran into the woman who'd been his 2nd grade teacher at another school, and it struck me then how funny school can be. How distinct the passage of time is, marked so specifically, year by year. And how nice it was to be there, walking in to face his 10th grade year with all his past years strung out behind him. Some of those years were not so great. Second grade was a good one.

This year has been good too, but always around April, I'm ready for summer. I told a friend of mine, another mom, that I think summer vacation should pretty much start the day after spring break, but I get restless like that. And if I'm feeling restless, how must it feel to this kid who drove us to school last night? My big kid. Flying high.